I used to have the (close to) perfect dog.

Today, I brought Kitsune with me to Intermediate obedience class instead of Juju. (I swap them every other week) I leave Kitsune at home on the Saturday's that my roommate doesn't have class, since her separation anxiety is so bad. Yes, Kitsune still whines and cries, but at least she has somebody with her.

She was her normal self (outside her home environment); tense, snappy and not all focused.

It's so frustrating because she used to be the perfect dog! Well, close to perfect. Or (and I hate to sound so stereotypical Shiba owner...) perfect, for a Shiba. David and I worked our asses off when we got her. (She's OUR first dog!) We vigorously exercised her, had her on a very strict schedule, and heavily socialized her by taking her everywhere with us & taking her to the dog park five days a week. We read all the "Shiba stereotypes" and wanted to make sure she was NONE of them... well, at least the negative ones. We read that Shibas are known to be weary of strangers, dog aggressive, mouthy, etc. She has always been wonderful with people (as much as I hate Petland for having "puppy mill puppies" I do have to say, one good thing is that their puppies are very well people-socialized since so many people go in there to play with them), and played well with other dogs (whether it be a Maltese or a Great Dane). Then, one day she got attacked by five dogs, and well, she started becoming fearful, pretty much of the world.

When she's at home, she's great. Yes, sometimes she has random spurts of energy, but other than that (and her separation anxiety), she's a great dog overall. When I take her out on walks and we run into other dogs (or at Petsmart when I buy supplies or during obedience class), she tenses up, ears back, head low, shakes sometimes, and if a dog gets too close, she snaps! It's hard to describe... not so much like a "BITE" but more like, a quick HEY back off. But, of course it's embarrassing to me (I want to be a responsible dog owner!) and other owners make freak out, even though she's small.

The biggest reason why I'm so frustrated is because I work my ass off to train and socialize her. And, I shouldn't really care what others think, but I'll admit it; I do. When I bring her out, and have to hold her leash tight so she stays close, and owners walk by wondering why I'm holding a little dog back as if she were vicious, I'm embarrassed. I hate having to tell people "my dog's not nice" (because she really is!!!) but sometimes it's the only way they will back off and give her space. Usually, if I tell them that my dog is a little nervous and skiddish around other dogs, they continue to push their dog in Kitsune's face, and say, "he just wants to say hello." Well, my dog doesn't want to say hello. I don't want to avoid all dogs, because that's just avoiding the issues, but I'm at a loss.

What do I do?

With all that, I haven't even begun to write about Juju. I love that dog to death! I really do. And I feel so guilty for all the times I blamed her for Kitsune's behavioral issues, and how I threatened to give her away or drop her off at the pound. That was just moments of weakness and placing the blame somewhere else. I would have been HEARTBROKEN (David and Kitsune too!) if I really would have given her up. It's definitely harder having two dogs, let alone, two Shiba Inus. Not because it's double the cost, but because behavioral issues CAN and WILL come up, and it may turn another dog's training backwards. I think it would be easier if David was home, but it was MY idea to get Shiba #2 so quickly. So, I have to suck it up, and deal with it. I just have to *BREATHE* and be calm and assertive (I love you Cesar Millan!), instead of being highstrung, bitchy and constantly tense.

There's a lot more I want to write, but I'll have to stop now. I can hear Juju running around like a little maniac downstairs, and poor Kitsune has the squirts. I bought a roll of the treats that Carol (dog trainer) uses, but I think it's a little too meaty for Kitsune, because she has diarrhea now. I should have just started off giving her a little bit, but I put chunks in their dinner tonight, and have been very generous with treats tonight. Hopefully no poopie accidents in the house tonight *fingers crossed.

*SMILE* mommy!

My mom's 48th birthday is this Saturday, but I decided to let her open her present a little early, since my sister is leaving for Korea tomorrow. Well, my mom cried her eyes out when she opened it. I didn't mean for her to cry!!!

The jewelry box reads:

My Mom,
My Bestfriend,
Love, Kimberly.

I am a little sleep deprived--pulled an all nighter. I do have to say, today was a very productive day. I spent the first few hours of the morning with my mom, went to the mall with my aunt and bought my cousin a graduation gift, stopped by the Apple store to get a replacement IPhone (none in stock so I have to go back, but at least I'm getting a new phone!), got coffee with Dan, then came home to K&J. I've been studying and doing school work but I am EXHAUSTED. I think I may have to take a bubble bath and call it an early night.

Exhausted, but in a great mood. I love you mommy!! xoxo. ♥

Happy 1st birthday Juju! ♥

I cannot believe how fast the time has gone by! It seems like just yesterday, David and I were in Virginia Beach with Kitsune, holding shy little Juju for the first time.

I had sprang the idea of getting Shiba #2 during the drive to Virginia beach *evil laugh* David had NO idea! Everyone told us it was too soon to get another dog, let alone, another Shiba, but we proved them wrong.

Juju has definitely kept me on my toes. It was easy-breezy in the beginning. The girls got along great, and she was so small (ehem, manageable!)... As she got older, she became the more dominant one, her and Kitsune started to play very rough, the food aggression popped up, and Juju was no longer 5 pounds--she was 20 (okay, 18... but close enough!).

There were times when I screamed, and yelled, and regretted bringing Juju home. I was overwhelmed (especially since we got her months before David deployed to Iraq, so it was pretty much me raising her on my own... but then again, wasn't it MY idea to get dog #2 so quickly? yeah...) but I love her to death and am so happy she is a part of the "Kim family."

The reason we brought Juju into our home, was solely to be a companion for Kitsune. Yes, I admit, at times I favored Kitsune, but Juju has a special place in my heart. I mean, come on... Kitsune is a daddy's girl, and Juju is DEFINITELY a mama's girl. ;) I love her crazy maniac puppy energy at 10PM, I love how she grunts anytime I pick her up, I love how she sighs when she's tired, and how she snuggles up with me every single night... She is no longer Juju-baby... she's Juju-monster! She's my little rascal.

Happy 1st birthday Juju! Mama loves you! And if daddy were home, I'm sure he would give you lots and lots of treats, and maybe some xoxo's. ♥

Weekend update?

Hm... I haven't updated in a few days. Where do I start?

FRIDAY: Dan, Dennis & Rifqa came over. The weather was so nice, so I took the girls to the neighborhood dog park. Kitsune was a little snappy (as usual) but overall, I was pleased with the girls. They were playful and polite with the other dogs. They played with a 10 month old German Shepherd puppy and a 3 year old Great Pyranese (it's so fluffy!!!!). What else happened that day? Well, for one, my pants were on fire!! (maybe this is a sign that I should stop smoking...) I accidentally ashed on my pants, and yeah... Kitsune's poop flung on Rifqa's toe. To end the night, Dennis & Dan went their separate ways, and when CC came home, the girls went to Outback for dinner. I had a few drinks... and accidentally dropped my IPhone in my sweet tea. Yeah, shit sucks. It surprisingly works, but the volume for ringtones is super low, and the home button is stuck. It's been in a bowl of rice for a few days. I'm going to leave it in for another 2-3 days, and hope for the best. I can't afford a new phone right now, and I want to wait until the IPhone 5 comes out to upgrade.

SATURDAY: Since CC was home, I left Kitsune with her (she has horrible separation anxiety) and took Juju to intermediate obedience class with Carol. She was such a good girl! She was a little nervous at first (I think because she was separated from Kitsune, and also the fact that this class was filled with new dogs... new big dogs...) but was very focused and obedient in class. We'll see how well Kitsune behaves this upcoming Saturday. I don't really remember the rest of the day...

Yesterday, I pretty much slept the entire day which explains why I'm still awake at 3AM. I'm planning on just staying up, and running over to Burke in a few hours to spend the day with my mom. I've been in a pretty sour mood and need some mommy-daughter time. ♥

Let's keep it short: hubby comes home from deployment in a little over 4 months (I'm excited, but also freaking out because neither of us have jobs right now...), I start class on Tuesday (Juju's 1st birthday!!!), I'm thinking about job hunting even though hubby said not to, I want to chop all my hair off (hubby will kill me!!!) but everyone wants me to have long hair for the wedding, stupid wind a few nights ago broke the fence in the backyard, the electric bill came in and it's almost $500 (holy moly!!!)... blah.

Okay, I'll update more later...

I can't do this anymore . . .

I'm trying to stay strong and positive, for everyone... but there's only so much I can take. I'm an Army wife of a deployed soldier, my mother has breast cancer, David and I are new homeowners (and it has all sorts of issues, and it's getting really overwhelming dealing with it alone), I am still jobless (David said to take some time off to focus on my mom and school, but the mortgage & bills are a LOT more than both of us anticipated).

I want to give up. I just want to say, fuck the world, and give up.

Dear Mom . . .

Dear mom,

You are the strongest and most kind hearted person I know, and I am so proud to be your daughter. I admire your positive attitude, and hope that I can be half the woman that you are.

When you first told me about your breast cancer, I was mad at the world. I kept asking God, "why her? She has done NOTHING wrong. Why my mom?" You came out of the surgery like superwoman. I know you must have been in so much pain, but you got through it. I bet chemotherapy makes you feel like you want to throw up all the time, and makes you feel miserable, but you continue to smile like nothing's wrong.

Every day, you continue to surprise me with your strength.

The day you came to my apartment and told me (and Sherrie) that you were diagnosed with breast cancer, I was broken. After you guys left, I cried. I cried and cried and cried. But I remembered what you told me. You said you don't want us to cry. You asked us to stay positive, for us, and for you.

So I am.

That's why I smile every day. That's why I laugh and make you laugh. That's why I brought cupcakes to chemotherapy. Sometimes, I still think that this situation isn't fair, but I am going to stay positive. I'm going to continue to smile and laugh, for you. You are my best-friend, and the best mother that anyone could ever wish for. I hope that one day, when David and I have kids, I am just like you.

The perfect mom.

I know the next few months... years... are going to be hard, but I am going to be here for you. No matter what. Until the end. Fighting!!! ^^*

I love you so much.

Kitsune and her separation anxiety.

Meet Kitsune. She is me and David's 19 month old Shiba Inu. Let me rephrase this: She is our 19 month old Shiba Inu with severe separation anxiety.

She cries and lets out her best "Shiba scream" whenever I leave her side. If I"m on the third floor, so is she. If I'm downstairs, she's by my side. Cute? Not when she's crated. It has gotten to the point where she bites her crate, hoping to free herself. Yup, metal crate... bars bent and everything! Poor girl. Sometimes I come home and her gums are bleeding.

So, Shiba/dog owners, please let me know if this is AT ALL possible: Kitsune was from a pet store. People would play with her, then "give her back." Do you think that this separation anxiety is because she thinks I'm going to leave her, forever? I wonder if dogs can remember that far back.

Well, I'm not going anywhere. I just wish she knew that.

Dear David . . .

Dear David,

I don't think you regularly read my blog, but I still want to dedicate one entry to you.

First off, let me thank you for the beautiful flowers and card for Valentine's day. I told you that I didn't want you to spend any money, but you surprised me, yet again! I don't know if it's because I wasn't expecting it, or whatever other reason, but your card brought a tear to my eye. It's so rare for you to show affection, so when you do, it's extra special. I am so proud of you for doing what you're doing over there, and so incredibly proud to be your "one and only." ♥

Secondly, thank you for your love and support. You are my rock. And, even when you're all the way over in Iraq, you still manage to be there for me. I felt so selfish even pondering whether or not I should wait to find a job, but then you reassured me that everything would be okay and said to put my mom first. [After discussing with David, we have come to the conclusion that I will focus on school, wedding, and of course my mother's recovery, and wait a few months to look for a job.]



My parents were thrilled with this decision, and my mother was touched that you were so supportive with this decision. Yet another reason why she feels so blessed to have you as a son-in-law.

I hope that these next few months fly by as quickly as possible, for multiple reasons; I want mom to go through chemo, radiation and recover quickly, and I want you home!!! I can't wait for us to be reunited again. Just four more months baby!!!

I will strive to be the best wife, daughter, sister, friend, dog owner, and just person in general... for the next few months, and forever more. I want to cut out all negativity and strive to be the positive, kind person that I can be. I want to help others, and be others' support. Yes, there will be bad days, but I will just have to think of all the positive things upcoming in my life: your homecoming, our wedding, having kids and growing old with you.

Okay, this entry is getting overly mushy, and it's making me miss you so much. More so because I'm listening to Brian McKnight's "6 8 12."

Anyways, thank you so much sweetie, for everything. I will forever be grateful to be your "one and only." Thanks for choosing me. I won't make you regret it. :) I love you. xoxo. ♥

Love,

Your wife.

Flowers from Iraq.

Babe surprised me with flowers!!! I was very surprised. After a day of chemotherapy with mom, and having to deal with more serious issues than a Hallmark holiday, this was the perfect way to end the day. I teared up a little reading the card. I miss him so much. I just have to be strong for a few more months and soon enough, my hubby will be home!!! I love you so much babe. Thank you for everything. Happy Valentine's day! ♥

Chemo and cupcakes.

First off, I would like to say a big *THANK YOU* to Junnie Han! She is a family friend of David, and also the person making our wedding cake!! Well, she was kind enough to bake over 2 dozen cupcakes for my mom to enjoy during her second chemotherapy session today. Dan and I walked around, offering them to the people who work there & the other patients after my mom grabbed one. Something as simple and silly as offering a cupcake to them, was something that touched them so much. Anyways, thank you Junnie for your sweet gesture. The cupcakes were gone within a few minutes. ;)

Here's some pictures she took of them - strawberry & red velvet.


Anyways, the reason I'm updating is not because of the cupcakes (although, they were quite delicious!!!). I have a lot on my mind today. Mom's chemotherapy session got me thinking... I've been job hunting for over a month now; sending out resumes, going on interviews, etc. David has been supporting me for the past few months, and I am ever so grateful, but I do need to find my own job. Yes, we've been managing fine, but what happens when he comes home from deployment? I'm sure he will find a job fairly quickly, but there is no guarantee. And with an upcoming wedding, and more importantly, our new house... we cannot afford for either (if not both) of us to be without a job. I would love to put a hold on the job search, at least until my mom is done with chemotherapy & radiation... but is that realistic? I want to be there for her. I want to see her every day, make her laugh, be her support, be there for her... and make each and every one of her appointments, but with a job, that will be tough.

I have a good feeling about this job I interviewed for last week. I have a second interview with them tomorrow (I'm meeting the boss). They seem pretty flexible; it's 30 hours a week and I would be able to work from home 4 out of the 5 day each week. There's some pro's and con's about this. Working from home would be great, but honestly, with the dogs here (hello distractions!!!), I would probably take my laptop over to Starbucks and work. I would most likely have to give out my personal numbers to clients, use my personal money for office supplies (ink, paper, stamps, fax machine, scanner, etc.) and my biggest reservation about this, is that I'm all about separating work & home... and this would be the complete opposite. I do not want to receive work phone calls after hours, on the weekends, etc. Now, since they are flexible, I would be able to see my mom pretty much any time I wanted, and make most (if not all) of her appointments. But, a company can be understanding for so long, and I understand- as understanding as they can be, they are running a business... Blah. What to do... The money IS very good, and it seems like a pretty good position. What do I do???

Anyways... almost time to feed the dogs. I dread this part of the day, only because Juju has food aggression and I have been working on "fixing" this for over six months now. I envy people who can just put bowls of food down for their dogs. I have to feed my dogs in their crates, otherwise Juju will attack Kitsune. Blah.

I love classical music.

I cannot get enough of classical music. I think a big reason is because I grew up listening to it and learning how to play it on the piano. I started playing piano before I was 5 years old, and played for over fifteen years. (I also played violin for 4 years, and flute for 2 years, but those don't count LOL) One of my absolute favorite composers is Chopin. I cannot get enough of his music. I listen to it at home, I leave it playing for the dogs when I leave the house, I play it in the car, I play it while I work out... I absolutely lOoOoOoOoOoOve it. ♥

Twenty-three going on to seventy?

It's eight o'clock on a Saturday night, and what am I doing? Staying home! Sometimes I feel like I"m seventy instead of twenty-three. I would rather stay home with my dogs, order food, and watch tv, instead of going to a bar or club. I don't know if it's because I finally own a home, or if it's because I'm boring. I would rather go out to lunch and coffee with a friend during the day, than do something at night. Meh, that's just me I guess.

So... I saw my best-friend today! It sucks that we don't live close. Especially since she's my maid of honor and I need help planning. I miss her all the time. It's nuts though. We don't even talk on a daily basis, but when we see each other, it's like no time has passed. It was nice catching up with her, but I wish we had the entire day.

After lunch at Panera, and coffee at Starbucks, I gave her a tour of my new house, and we just talked on the couch. Well, more like me laying on the couch because of my cramps. After she left, I was debating on whether I wanted to take Kitsune & Juju over to Petsmart. Well... I got my lazy ass up, and did. So glad that I did too!

We ended up going to Petsmart to get some treats (I've been giving them pieces of string cheese but it's been making them extremely gassy). I weighed them too; Juju weighs slightly under 19 pounds, and Kitsune is still 13 pounds. Juju definitely leaned up and shed her puppy fat. I swear, she's built like a tank! AND she still pulls like a sled dog. She's still slightly skiddish towards strangers, but it's getting better.

Petsmart didn't have the Zukes peanut butter treats that I like, so we went to Petco. We went to Petco more to see the people who work there, who I became close to. I used to live across the street, so the girls and I saw them on our daily walks. Two guys came up and were asking what type of dogs they were, how old, etc. (It's so amusing to watch people trying to pronounce "Shiba Inu." Is it really that hard??? She-ba-eeeeee-noooooo...) The girls have PINK camouflage martingale collars on and PINK & camouflage leashes, yet people still ask me if Juju is a boy!

Our mini trip to the pet store was fun. Even with all the girls' quirks, I am extremely lucky that both girls love the car! I have two stuffed animals in the back seat, so they climb in, snuggle with them, and fall right asleep. Cutie pies. ♥

I had a little bit of an emotional breakdown last night... well, almost. I was feeling angry and emotional. I mean, I've felt that way for a while now, and it got worse after my mom told me she was diagnosed with breast cancer... but yesterday... I just felt like I was on the verge of tears. Well, turns out I got my period. That explains a lot! LOL. I'm an emotional, hormonal wreck! Blah.

Oh, I lost 7 pounds! I guess it's a start? Before David left for Iraq, I had lost 20 pounds, and just hit a plateau. I need to start walking the dogs more and eat healthier. I mean, I do have a wedding dress to fit into in about 9 months! And, of course my mom just HAD to order the dress two sizes smaller than the one I tried on. So, I have no choice but to lose weight.

Okay, well off to find some food, and relax with the girls for a few hours before I head to bed. I have to wake up early, walk the dogs, head over to meet up with David's family friend (she's making our wedding cake, but she also offered to make my mom some cupcakes for Valentine's day, so I'm going to meet her and pick those up! So sweet of her!!!), spend some time with mom (she's shaving her head tomorrow... I think it's a control thing. I think she would rather shave it all off, than wait and see when it falls out from the chemo... sigh), then come back home to my babies.

I thought Shibas were supposed to be smart.

I let the dogs out in the backyard to run around & go to the bathroom about five times a day. That is on top of 1-2 walks a day, each walk 30 minutes to 1 hour. When I got home today, I let the dogs in the back, and Kitsune pooped. I fed them, and less than an hour afterwards, Kitsune felt the need to leave me a little present at the front door. At first, I just thought she farted (her farts smell HORRIBLE), but this was just gag-worthy. I went and looked, and yup! she pooped.

It's SO frustrating. I don't know what to do! I'm trying to stick with the positive reinforcement... no yelling... no hitting... but in my opinion, it's getting me no where. The food aggression is still present and Kitsune keeps going potty in the house. UGH.

I. Am. So. Indecisive.

Okay, so I'm still working on this thing... can't make up my mind on what background or fonts to use. If you know me, you know that I am the most indecisive person you will ever meet in your life. Yup!

I made a new blogger account so I could strictly blog about my two Shiba Inus (since, well, they're basically all I talk about... other than the love of my life, and the fact that my mom has cancer...) but I figure, what's the point of having another blog? I'll just update on here.

As I am updating this, Dan is over playing some game called "Limbo" on Xbox, Juju is passed out in the little "nook" she has created on the couch out of the blanket, and CC (aka, my roomie!!) is snuggling with Kitsune... they look so cute together. I may have to post a picture, because it's just that cute.



And me? I just finished painting my nails red (I rarely paint my nails, since they usually chip the next day because of walking the dogs, doing dishes, etc.) and blogging. This weekend I'll be spending time with my best-friend (and maid of honor!!!) and spending time with my mom before her second chemotherapy session on Monday; yes, on Valentine's day.

Before I end this post, I'd like to ask a few things: (1) how do you remove the date/time stamp on this thing? Isn't there a date/time stamp at the bottom of the post anyways? I would like to remove the date/time stamp at the top of the blog entry to keep my blog S-I-M-P-L-E. (2) Why does Kitsune insist on peeing on the kitchen rug and the mat by the front door every freaking day?! The house is all wood floors, and she's been so good ever since we moved in, but she ALWAYS goes on the mat by the front door (I threw away the rug in the kitchen).

Shiba Inu . . . sled dog?

Thank you to ThePoochStore for Kitsune & Juju's new collars! The picture above shows them on their walk earlier today with their pink camo martingale collars. (pink because it's my favorite color, and camouflage to support their daddy - go Army!!!)

I used to absolutely dread walking the dogs, simply because Juju pulls like a sled dog!!! I never knew 20 pounds would be so hard to control! Kitsune doesn't pull as much, and she's only 13 pounds so she's much easier to control on walks. I've been walking them on harnesses, simply because I was too afraid of them slipping out of collars. I've switched to martingale collars because it's more control vs. harnesses, and it's so much easier to get on & off. So far, I LOVE them.

I took the girls out for over an hour... switching off between walking and jogging... and it was actually enjoyable! But man oh man, I let the girls out 3-5 times a day to run around in the backyard, and walk them 1-2 times a day (30 minutes - 1 hour each time) yet they NEVER get tired. I'm just hoping it's because they're young (Kitsune is 19 months and Juju turns 1 this month). *fingers crossed.

The Pooch Store

If you haven't been to ThePoochStore.com yet, you are missing out!!! Go check it out!!! It's run by a fellow Shiba owner. The quality of the products is amazing, and the customer service is just as great! Here are just a few pictures of the products I've received from them:

Kitsune & Juju in their collars with custom fabric.


Kitsune wearing her Hello Kitty collar.


Paracord leash in pink & dessert camouflage.


Juju in her Loyal Paws collar & paracord leash.

I think Kitsune is sick.

For the past few hours, Kitsune has been walking around with her head low, ears back, panting, heart beating extremely fast, shaking uncontrollably and gassy. Does anyone know what could be wrong???

UPDATE: Kitsune is A-OK! I think she was just anxious. I'm not really sure why, but when I woke up around 10AM, she was back to her normal, crazy, cuddly self. :]