I can't breathe...

It feels like my heart is in my throat...

It's been one hell of a year.

It has been one hell of a year. Let me recap:

David got deployed to Iraq. This has been one of the hardest years of my life. So much has happened, and I have been separated from David for almost one year. One year doesn't seem like a long time, but in that year, we got our second puppy, we purchased our very first home, something special happened in December*, mom got cancer, his grandfather turned 100, I got a new job, and so on. It's been incredibly tough not having him by my side, but like everyone said--it has made me stronger. I feel like this deployment has not only made me stronger, but also my relationship with David. Once he's home, and I can hug and kiss him, I know that this year will have been worth every single tear that I shed.

David and I purchased our first home!!! Own, not rent!! Who would have thought, right? We are so thankful for all our parents did for us. We couldn't have done it without them. I had a lot of complaints when I first moved in (our home was a short-sale and had a number of repairs...), but I love our home. Finally, it's not a house--it's a home. There are still issues here and there, but what house is perfect... right?

Mom got diagnosed with breast-cancer. Yes, this was a shocker. It was so unexpected too. I thought my whole world was falling apart--my other half is in Iraq, and now my mother, my best-friend.. has cancer? My mom is superwoman. Let me tell you... she has surprised everyone! She is kicking cancer's ass, and being tough through the chemotherapy. She's almost done with her chemotherapy (let me add, she has not thrown up ONCE through treatment!!!), and when David comes home, she'll be starting radiation. God, I love her so much. ♥

My Shiba Inus.

KITSUNE is a spayed female Shiba Inu. DOB is 07/10/2009. She is very small for her breed at only 13 pounds. She used to be very dominant, until Juju came into the picture. She is very "weird." She'll just stare at you, and if you don't give her affection, she'll throw a little fit. She'll squirm around on the ground, while she grunts. She is very food motivated, and will sometimes whine because she gets so excited over treats. She knows how to: sit, lay down, stay, come, give you her paw, give you a high five, and back up. She's very good on a leash; barely any pulling. When we're at home, she is submissive to her younger Shiba-sibling. When we're out, she is the more dominant one. She loves all people. She approaches people in a very sweet way and will ask for pets. She is an attention-hog and wins the hearts of many. She's good with kids; they can pull on her tag, be rough with her, but she remains sweet and calm. She used to be so good with all dogs (big or small) and went to the dog park five days a week--she ran around with the Rottweilers, rolled around with the Pit Bulls, and race the Grey Hounds & Whippets. One day last summer, she got attacked by five dogs (Pit Bulls and Labs--nothing against either breed, just mentioning so you can get an idea of the size difference) and lost a lot of confidence. She used to be very skiddish and snappy towards other dogs. Slowly, her confidence is coming back, but she is still weary of new dogs. She tenses up around other dogs very easily, and tends to snap if they get "in her face." Overall, she is a very affectionate (towards people) dog, good with tricks, but still unsure of other dogs.



JUJU is a spayed female Shiba Inu. Her DOB is 02/22/2010. She is 17/18 pounds and built more stocky than her Shiba-sibling Kitsune. She is the more dominant dog, at home. She plays very rough (which Shiba owners say is very typical for the breed) and is very vocal. She is the more obedient dog of the two--with or without treats. She is food aggressive, and possessive of her toys. If she is playing with a toy, and Kitsune tries to take it, she will growl at her. During feeding time, whether separated or together, Juju growls and lunges at her Shiba-sibling on a daily basis. When we're out, she becomes very shy towards new people. She does not like to be pet by strangers, and will back away, but never bites. I've noticed that she will watch Kitsune to see how she acts towards people, and will sometimes copy her behavior. She is very affectionate with people she knows, but when people come over, she gets so excited that she jumps up on them and nips their butt. She pulls like a sled dog on walks, but is very responsive to a firm "leash tug." She is curious when it comes to other dogs, but a bit shy. On walks, if we run into another dog, Kitsune's energy tends to rub off on her. Overall, Juju is a very cuddly dog (to people she knows), shy towards strangers/new dogs, and "bad" (for lack of a better word) during feeding time.



I love both my girls equally. Both of my 'inus' have been through beginner & obedience class, and I exercise them vigorously. I have read many books, many dog magazines, am a part of many Shiba Inu groups and forums, and looked up numerous websites regarding these quirky behaviors, but remain frustrated. I work so hard to train them, but it seems like it's always "1 step forward, 2 steps back" with them. I am trying to stay positive and not lose hope, but that's easier said than done. They are my babies, my world, but when they act up, especially in public, I get so embarrassed...

I should be studying...

I just got out of the shower and I should be studying, but I thought I'd post a quick blog entry while my hair dries...

Work was great on Friday! I can't stress how friendly everyone at the office is! Thank God, especially since there are 200+ employees there! After work, I stopped by home to let the 'inus' out and took them over to my parents' house. After hanging out for a bit, I took them with me to Starbucks to meet up with Rifqa (& Wolverine), Hieu, and Gina (& Lando, Gido & Mochi). Can you believe we were there with five dogs? (4 of them were Shibas! teehee) The weather was gorgeous, the dogs were well behaved (for the most part...) and it's always good to see Gina & her "pack." (She just radiates calm and positive energy.)

Kitsune surprised me two times...

1 When I let her and Wolverine meet (Juju approached but just walked away...) they were nose-to-nose (which I hear is very "rude" in the animal world; dogs usually sniff from behind to say "hello") for 5-10 seconds before Kitsune snapped at him! Wolverine didn't do ANYTHING. He was very calm and just sat there. I'm wondering why she did that...

2 When Gina & Lando came up with Gido & Mochi, I took the girls to say "hello." Kitsune was super excited to see them--airplane ears, tall wagging and everything!!! After an hour of sitting outside with everyone, I took out some treats to give them all (after they sat politely of course!) and Kitsune got riled up and started "nipping" Juju's mouth (she does this from time-to-time). Then, out of no where, she nipped Mochi's nose!!! I'm not sure if he was "in her way" or what, but I am still confused as to why she did that.

Kitsune's confidence has gone up, and she has improved overall, but she does these things here and there that confuse me, and make me feel like it's always going to be "1 step forward, 2 steps back" with her. Sigh.

Friends.

No one is perfect. There are things about everyone that will be irritating/annoying. There are things about my friends (even the closest ones) that annoy me, and I am sure as hell there are many things about me that annoy my friends.

So, what constitutes "talking shit?"

If something about someone bothers me, and I confide in one of my best-friends about it, but not approach the person directly, does this mean I am "talking shit" about them? I personally think that sometimes when you directly approach people about what's bothering you, it can cause problems. This has happened to me numerous times...

There have been a few instances that I have approached close friends about things that have been bothering me, and after we talk things out and things seem to be okay, all of a sudden we become distant. What's up with that?

Maybe I should just learn to be more accepting and keep things to myself. But that's not me (the "keeping things to myself" part). I've always been one to be very open and communicate. But, I guess there are just some things that I have to "shake off" and let go.

My new job...

The 'inus' (Kitsune & Juju) are snoring behind me while I'm typing this. After work, I fed them then took them on an hour long walk. The weather was b-e-a-utiful. They actually did really well too, and didn't pull as much as they normally do. They even let a dog run up to them and said "hello."

Today was my seventh day at work, and so far, so good. My first week was extremely overwhelming. I am used to working with under ten people, and at my job, there are over two hundred and forty employees! Nuts, right? Thankfully, everyone is extremely nice. I'm finally starting to get the hang of things, and slowly learning people's names. I know it seems a bit early to know, but I love my job, and I really like the people I work with.

Changing topics, mom started a different type of chemotherapy this past Monday. We found out Monday morning that the reason she was feeling so sick and getting a bad reaction was because she is allergic to the taxol (the type of chemo. she was on)!!! Ridiculous, right? Maybe I'm being too harsh, because I know that doctors make mistakes... but OH MY GOD. I was furious when I found out. Thankfully, mom is doing really well this week and taking the new chemotherapy much better. She is a trooper. She really is.

And while I'm on the topic of family, it has been six days since Koko died. Koko was our first family dog, and lived for fifteen long years. Not to mention, she was spoiled for every single day she lived. She was suffering... and passed away in peace. I miss her, and I know my mom misses her a lot too. She's in doggy heaven now, and can eat all the treats she wants. <3

Okay, well it's time for Greys Anatomy. I really hope there's a new episode on tonight. *fingers crossed* Afterwards, I'll probably finish up my participation for school, take a bubble bath, and call it a night. I am so happy tomorrow is Friday.

♥ 9 MORE WEEKS UNTIL SGT. KIM IS HOME!!! ♥

Happiness.

I need to find something that makes me happy, because to be honest, I'm not.

Random rants.

Just a few things I need to get off my chest...
And yes, this is going to be a pretty negative entry.

- I am only one person & I can only do so much.
- Seriously?!
- Why are some people so fucking lazy?
- Some people never change.
- I do too much for people.
- I have so many questions.
- You have no idea how good you have it.
- Certain people are starting to really annoy me.
- I really do NOT like mixing my groups of friends.
- I made my friends list private on FB for a reason.
- People have no clue WHY I love my dogs so much.

Happy birthday, Sgt. Kim ♥

Happy twenty-eighth birthday to the love of my life, and my best-friend, Sgt. David Kim! Unfortunately, he's in Iraq for his birthday this year, so we can't celebrate. Less than three months until he's back home!!! It's been a long year, and a hard one to say the least, but like everyone said, this deployment has brought us closer and made us stronger; as a couple and individually. I love you baby, and I am so happy that you are a part of my life. Happy birthday! I hope your Army buddies don't give you birthday punches!